Psalm 139, 61
The story of Secret Place
'Secret Place' is more of a testimony than a song.
It is the story of how I genuinely found the Lord for myself, away
from my church environment, the habits of my upbringing, and the leading or teaching of another person. I sought His presence and I found Him.
In the quiet of my bedroom as a teenager, I began to encounter the presence of the Lord in more tangible ways than I'd ever experienced. From a place of desperation I built an altar in secret, crying out for God to meet me in my brokenness and satisfy the true longings of my soul. Beneath the surface, I didn't fully trust that He loved me, or that He was pleased with me, and those beliefs had shaped my behaviours and mindsets in destructive ways.
I struggled a lot with low self-esteem as a young person, and for a long time couldn't dig myself out. The voice of the enemy was loud and incessant and had me drowning in lies. But as I kept coming to the secret altar in my bedroom, the Lord met me with the kindness and tenderness of a Father to pull me from my pit.
1 Hear my cry, O God;
listen to my prayer.
2 From the ends of the earth I call to you,
I call as my heart grows faint;
lead me to the rock that is higher than I.
3 For you have been my refuge,
a strong tower against the foe.
- Psalm 61
As a very visual person, the Holy Spirit filled my imagination with places where I would meet and commune with Him. My favourite was an open grassy field, looking out beyond a cliff edge to the vast expanse of the ocean. Jesus would come and build a fire and we would sit and talk, or we'd dance around with the abandon of little children, or sometimes he would help me haul heavy boulders over the cliff edge- the lies, the fears, the unbelief.
I was completely changed by the words He spoke over me, and redefined by the way He saw me. He lifted my thoughts to see from Heaven's vantage, and clothed me in the truth of His mercy and love.
'Secret Place' will always represent a turning point in my history with the Lord, but also marks a starting point in my journey as a songwriter. As a 19 year old I began serving in my church's youth ministry and was asked to share one Friday night on the presence of God. I felt prompted to say less, and instead let a song be the message, leading me to write 'Secret Place.' It was the first full worship song I'd really finished, and the first of my own that I ever shared with a group of people. I was overwhelmed to see my own lyrics on the screen prompter! The encouragement of others in the room helped me recognise the gift on my life, and how it could serve a moment to foster other peoples' encounters with the Lord.
I've found Him time and time again in this secret place, and my hope is that through the words and music of this song, you are drawn in close to His presence to be deeply, eternally changed.
So I'll run to you
I will never stop coming
Oh how I love you in the secret place